Sometimes we don't realize that the circumstances we live in are different, right or wrong, pleasant or difficult because we don't have anything to compare them to. I overheard this conversation at work last night...
EMT: "Why did you stand up to a 200 lb guy?"
13o lb teenaged patient with a dislocated shoulder: "It's the hood."
Friday, June 27, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Hired!!!!
This morning I was hired by the Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department. I cannot tell you what a privilege it was to get that phone call this morning. The story is long...and will have to wait for another post...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Love ( s )
I just finished reading The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis. Interestingly enough, I am also studying 1st John which is, in a great part, about love. Here is one of my favorite quotes from Lewis.
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; aviod all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in the casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
He continues later...
"God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them. He e creates the universe, already forseeing - or should we say "seeing"? there are no tenses in God - the buzzing cloud of flies about the cross, the flayed back pressed against the uneven stake, the nails driven through the mesial nerves, the repeated incipient suffoctaion as the body droops, the repeasted torture of back and arms as it is time after time, for breath's sake, hitched up. ...This is Love Himself, the inventor of all loves. - C.S. Lewis
Where will my love lie? Will I attempt to protect my heart by burying it in a "casket of my own selfishness" or will make myself vulnerable to hurt and pain as I share the love God has shown me?
"...if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another..."
1 John 4:11
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; aviod all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in the casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
He continues later...
"God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them. He e creates the universe, already forseeing - or should we say "seeing"? there are no tenses in God - the buzzing cloud of flies about the cross, the flayed back pressed against the uneven stake, the nails driven through the mesial nerves, the repeated incipient suffoctaion as the body droops, the repeasted torture of back and arms as it is time after time, for breath's sake, hitched up. ...This is Love Himself, the inventor of all loves. - C.S. Lewis
Where will my love lie? Will I attempt to protect my heart by burying it in a "casket of my own selfishness" or will make myself vulnerable to hurt and pain as I share the love God has shown me?
"...if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another..."
1 John 4:11
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
tiny one
Tiny
Grey
Limp (rag doll)
Pump
Motionless
Trying hard
Too easy
Pump
Chaos
Where are the tools?
What is the dose?
pumping...always pumping
Harder than I thought...
No, not harder, more tiring.
Shock
Hoping
Knowing
Keep going, keep going
Do you want a break?
pump, pump...faster
forearms tired
can i really be breaking a sweat?
tiny, so tiny
still grey
everything is changing
losing hope
pumping, pump, pumping
"let me do that for you"
thinking i should go, finding out there are only a few minutes left...
...to try
"let me go again"
pump, pump, pump
eyes closed
still motionless
still grey
still tiny
Grey
Limp (rag doll)
Pump
Motionless
Trying hard
Too easy
Pump
Chaos
Where are the tools?
What is the dose?
pumping...always pumping
Harder than I thought...
No, not harder, more tiring.
Shock
Hoping
Knowing
Keep going, keep going
Do you want a break?
pump, pump...faster
forearms tired
can i really be breaking a sweat?
tiny, so tiny
still grey
everything is changing
losing hope
pumping, pump, pumping
"let me do that for you"
thinking i should go, finding out there are only a few minutes left...
...to try
"let me go again"
pump, pump, pump
eyes closed
still motionless
still grey
still tiny
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